« by Maggie A. (period 3) | Main | by Kyle F. (period 3) »
March 03, 2005
by TJ D. (period 3)
SHE SAID...
16SHE CALLED AND SAID GOODBYE
I WAS CONFUSED AND ASKED WHY
SHE HAD DRANK TOO MUCH, SHE COULDNT STAY AWAKE
I DIDNT UNDERSTAND, I WAS SO BAKED
SHE SAID ILL SEE YOU THERE
I ASKED WHERE,
SHE SAID HEAVEN, AND THAN SHE CRIED
I TOLD HER IT WOULD BE OKAY, IM GONG TO STOP BY
SHE SAID DONT WASTE YOUR TIME, ILL BE GONE
I TOLD HER THAT I HAVE LOVED HER ALL ALONG
THERE WAS NO REPLY
I THOUGHT THAT WAS GOOD-BYE
TEARS CAME TO MY EYES, AND FEEL TO MY FEET
MY HEART JUST STOPED, THERE WASN’T A BEAT
THEN I WAS ASKED IF I WAS SCARED TO DIE
I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO REPLY
ON THE OTHER END, SHE WAS POSITIVE
THAT SHE WAS NO LONGER GOING TO LIVE
I TOLD TO HER HANG ON
COMON BABY YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG
SHE TOLD ME SHE SAW THE LIGHT
I DIDNT WANT TO BELIVE HER, BUT SHE WAS RIGHT
SHE WHISPERED SOFTLY, BUT I COULD HARDLY HEAR
I TOLD HER TO HAVE NO FEAR
AND ILL BE NEAR
THE LAST THING SHE SAID BEFORE GETTING OFF THE PHONE
WAS I LOVE YOU
FOLLOWED BY A DIAL TONE
Posted to composition class in student writing and works at 08:34 AM
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Comments
Good dramatic poem. I like the somewhat open ending, and the effect of ending on a dial tone is very effective. There are a few proofreading errors (I'll get back on this, but maybe some other commenters would like to point these out) and it's generally considered a bad idea to type things in all CAPS (shown by studies to be harder to read). The poem is good enough it deserves to presented in as polished and readable format as possible.
Posted by: dwillia at March 3, 2005 08:44 AM