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October 20, 2005
by 5836 (period 5)
Moveing ... my life
When I was young, we moved around a lot; not really settling down. I was actually horn in Daytona Beach Fl. Eventually we moved to Savannah Ga. where we resided for 6 years until our move to Lincoln, Nebraska in 1996.
I don’t remember much about Savannah anymore, to my credit however my first memoir that I can even remember was of us first moving Savannah. We drove down Jackson Woods Blvd, the predominantly Jewish neighborhood of Savannah, Ga. I believe the address of the home was 406 Jackson Woods Blvd. It was a Japanese styled house of sorts; I vaguely remember me walking around I would have been about 4 or 5 years old at them time. The home was being showed to us by, from what I can remember a black haired lady, particularly the kitchen. The home itself had many large rooms and VERY high ceilings. There was very few rooms however, the rooms that where there however were expectedly large, something not to often found in middle class homes of American today. My room was very small, but I had a bonus toy room to keep all my toys in.
I don’t remember anything until I starting going to Maggie’s Morning School, a high-end preschool of sorts. By this time, I had gone through several childcare sitters by now, 2 I believe. One of them was a hard ass disapiniany who spanked her kids and made me eat all my Campbell’s soup, which was quite a painful, or unpleasant experience for a 6-year-old boy. After that lady, Linda I believe she was called. I was taken care up by this blond girl who insisted on making out with her Army boyfriend on every meeting. I have no idea or even remember her. The only memory I have is of her balling when the car ran out of gas, such a fragile person really. After these two, we found one that stayed. Her name was June Rinker. She was a second mom of sorts, spoiled me with sweet tarts, my favorite candy of the time. She was a fully time nanny until I got a little older and my parents didn’t think I need fully time supervision. We would often though have Fridays together and would go to movies, each pizza hut pizza and go to my friends the brancato’s.
I had some really good friends in Savannah. My best friend Michael Freidman lived right down the street. My other friends where Paul and Nicole Brancato, they were just a bike ride down the street as well.
Eventually all things change and we moved to Nebraska, boy was this place different. Mom got a new job, well, moved to a different one, same company, in Lincoln Nebraska. We moved here 1996, bought a 4 wheel drive SUV Ford Explorer, which I drive today. Moving here was tough, I had to leave all my friends behind, in the long run though it was deciced it was a good idea.
Memoir Grade and Criteria
10/10 Fits the definition of a memoir. It should be autobiographical, focusing on a segment or aspect of the author’s life.
10/10 Style. Has a sense of personal voice. Is not just an undeveloped chronology of events. Uses colorful word choice, description, dialogue, etc. where appropriate. Has a feeling of reminiscence, of telling about memories, not just dry facts.
0/10 Proofreading. More than 2 “lazy” errors (mainly typos, spelling errors that wouldn’t get by spell check, or obviously omitted words, etc.) per 500 is not acceptable. Other grammar and technical errors may cause deductions unless fixed.
9/10 Sufficient Information. Readers appreciate a satisfying abundance of specific information. Writing that works usually has a rich abundance, a density of information in it. It is not thin or superficial, but has a satisfying depth.
9/10 Continuity and Closure. It reads like a finished piece of writing. Has a reasonably smooth lead in and sense of closure, doesn’t seem to have gaping holes or to jump around in an undeveloped or thoughtless manner.
38/50 Total points. Other comments:
Posted to senior seminar in student writing and works at 10:17 AM
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